Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Friday, June 4, 2010

Can A Marriage Quiz Hurt Your Relationship

A marriage quiz, will it hurt or help your relationship? This is a question you should be asking yourself before you submit your spouse or yourself to the quiz. The general truth of the matter is that more information is always better than less, but you have to be careful about interpreting the results of a marriage quiz.

Quizzes are popular; if they weren’t they wouldn’t show up so often in women’s magazines, purporting to tell you the truth about this or that. It’s also true that asking the right questions about your marriage can help your marriage become stronger.

The trouble is, an incomplete or too brief marriage quiz cab can cause you to become insecure, which can create problems, or at least stress, where there doesn’t have to be any. This is the primary reason that you need to take many, if not most of these quizzes with a fairly large grain of salt.

You cannot, no matter how convenient it might be, determine the future of your marriage by comparing the foods you like. Good marriages are not based on common culinary preferences, and a good marriage quiz isn’t based on this either.

Even the less silly quizzes aren’t really perfect because there are simply too many variables within every marriage. Which is a fancy way of saying that every relationship works differently, so any quiz that isn’t custom designed for your marriage is going to be painfully inadequate.

That isn’t to say there isn’t value behind the basic idea behind a marriage quiz, which is finding out more about your marriage. If you were forced to narrow down the primary reasons for marriages ending in divorce, then not communicating would be the reason. Most people simply don’t know enough about what is really going on in their marriage.

For this reason, coming up with your own marriage quiz might be an excellent idea. We have a tendency to keep our heads in the sand, not doing anything or even acknowledging that there is a problem until it absolutely can’t be denied.

At that point, it’s going to be much harder to fix the problems. A better solution is ask the right questions early and often. Make sure over the course of your marriage that you are always giving it a little tune up. Create your own marriage quiz and you will be well on the way.

You need to sit down with your spouse and ask yourselves questions about the marriage. Where is it going? What do we want? What bothers you? You need to answer these questions openly and honestly, and then act on the answers.

There are very few problems that can’t be solved in a relationship, and this kind of marriage quiz will put you on the right track. There are many, many guides and systems available to help correct any problems you find. All you need to do is find the help and guide that you need to create a better, stronger marriage.

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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Books On Marriage How Do You Find The Right One

Books on marriage, can they really help save your marriage? The answer is yes, probably, but you need to make sure to pick the right book for you. Instead of taking the usual approach of compiling a list of good marriage books, this article will show you how to evaluate books on marriage to find the one that is right for you and your problems.

One hard truth that most people have a hard time accepting is that they are not special unique snowflakes. It may seem like you’re the only person in the world going through what you’re going through, but you aren’t. There are six billion people in the world; somewhere in that teeming mass is someone who has gone through what you’re going through. Probably millions of someone's, to be honest.

At the same time, your marriage is unique. Yes, that is in direct contradiction with the above statement, but don’t worry, I’ll explain. While there are certainly other people with your problems, there are still millions of different variations, and all books on marriage don’t apply to every marriage.

What you need to do to sort through the thousands of books on marriage is to know exactly what it is you want out of the books. If your problem is that you wish your spouse would spend a little more time with you, then you are going to be looking for an entirely different book than someone who is trying to bring their marriage back from the brink of divorce.

So you need to know what problem, if any, you’re trying to address. You then need to look for books that fit into your personal worldview. Books on marriage that focus on prayer and spirituality may work wonderfully for some people, but if you’re not that kind of person, the advice will be useful for your particular situation.

You need to look through whatever books you think might be relevant to your situation and see if they make sense to you. Psychology, or just the study and understanding of why people do the things they do, is not a hard science. Two plus two does not necessarily equal four. If a book doesn’t make sense to you, then it will almost certainly not work for you. Look for the books on marriage that have relevance to you and your relationship, and forget the rest.

Another thing to consider is the reputation of the author. This isn’t necessarily as big a deal as you might think, but it definitely is something you need to consider when you’re looking at books on marriage. Does the person have the kind and experience and credentials that you’d expect? Do they seem to have a good handle on the subject? If you can’t find the answer to this easily, the answer is probably no.

You shouldn’t discount the internet either. Some of the most well researched, most effective books on marriage are out there available as downloads, so that you can start using them immediately. Just make sure to use what you’ve learned in this article to make sure you get the right one.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Are Marriage Retreats The Way To Stop Your Divorce?

Marriage retreats are a good way to help give your marriage a tune up, but most people don’t even know they exist. They may be just the thing to give your marriage a tune up, or to help save a foundering marriage.

So what are marriage retreats? Well, it’s basically where you take a weekend or even a week to get away from it all somewhere away from your home, staying with other couples and trained marriage counselors.

While you’re there, you’ll be spending time working intensely on your marriage with your spouse. What this does is give you a chance to get away from all the hustle and bustle of everyday life and get down to the business of your relationship.

This beneficial effect of marriage retreats should not be underestimated. The sad fact is that most people are far too busy to give their relationship the separate attention that it needs. Indeed, most of us only start thinking about our marriage in that way when we are already having problems.

After you are already having problems is probably the worst time to try and fix problems. Emotions are flaring, life is getting in the way, and you will find it very hard to do the work. The best time to solve problems is before the problems ever start happening.

This is where marriage retreats can really help. There are two big benefits to the retreat. One of them is that being away from all the distractions of life can give you a breather, time to think and time to just be together with each other. This alone can help your relationship.

The second benefit is that you’re in a situation where the whole point is to talk about your relationship. This is actually a lot harder to accomplish in real life than it sounds. Most of us are hesitant to have these kinds of discussions, because they can be awkward and painful.

But at marriage retreats, there are counselors and other couples there to speak with, and they will help guide and shelter you. This makes having those conversations easier and it gives you the benefit of having other points of views to help you see what is really going on in your relationship.

If you are already having problems with your relationship, then these marriage retreats can be an excellent way to stop your divorce. The time away from everything can be an excellent way to defuse the emotions that are preventing you from having the breakthrough you need, and having the help of professionals is always going to better than trying to just feel your way through it.

There are any number of varieties of retreats. The Christian retreats are probably the most common, but there are also plenty of retreats that focus on the secular side of things. All you need to do is find the right one for your relationship.

Marriage retreats are one of the best ways to help keep relationship going strong, but they are far from being the only option available to you. You can also find many guides and systems to help keep your marriage going strong.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

How Marriage Seminars Can Stop Divorce

Marriage seminars could very well be the key to stopping your divorce. This is true even if you aren’t on the verge of a divorce. With the divorce rates skyrocketing, it pays for you to put in the work now at marriage seminars to make sure that you don’t have problems later.

For those of you not familiar with the term, a seminar is basically an event where experts gather to share some of their expertise. This can be multiple experts or just one, and it can be an event that lasts a few hours or a few days.

Marriage seminars are usually the longer variety, lasting over the course of a weekend, but if you look, you can find seminars that are longer or shorter. They are often Christian based, but again, if you take the time to look around you find ones that aren’t, if a religious based seminar doesn’t sound like it is up your alley.

All marriage seminars generally offer you the same advantages; they give you time to get away from everyday life and look at your marriage. This is important, because when you’re caught up in the day to day business of your life, it’s hard to actually look at your life. You just don’t have the distance that you need to do the work.

Marriage seminars, on the other hand, give you an opportunity to put yourself in a setting where you can get away from distractions and focus on the things that really matter. Even better, you’ll be there with other couples doing the same thing. The value of this time away is not to be underestimated.

It’s also good to know that you are not alone in your relationship problems. This one fact alone can really help you start the process of repairing your marriage. It may feel like you and your spouse are the only people in the world going through what you’re going through, but you aren’t, and getting away will show you that.

Another big plus is that marriage seminars are filled with experts on marriage, love and relationships. These are people who know what the right questions to ask are and can help guide you through the process of identifying your problems and they can tell you what you need to do to prevent your divorce.

The seminars and retreats are also good for people that aren’t having relationship problems. It’s all too common for us to not think about our relationships when things are going well, but having regular tune ups every few years is as good for your relationship as it is for your car. The best time for anyone to solve a problem us before it becomes a problem, and attending one of these seminars is an excellent way to do this.

If you can’t find the time or the money to do one of these marriage seminars, don’t worry. Thankfully, there are plenty of guides and systems available to you that can show you what you need to do fix what is broken or even to just make sure nothing in your relationship gets broken to begin with.